Ok, so I recently headed out to a donut place - we'll just call it "Sunkin Donuts" to protect the innocent. And when I get there, I am ready to get my coffee and chocolate-glazed fix.
The total comes to $5.52 (I was picking up a fix or two for a friend also, ok? I'm not that big of a pig).
In my wallet is $5.76. But lemme break it down for ya. I had five one dollar bills, three quarters, and one penny - ONE LONELY PENNY. Hmm. I needed two.
This part is important, so pay attention.
I don't want to break the third quarter, and create more change (who needs that, right?). So it dawns on me: Leave a penny, take a penny!! Yes, of course! The wonderful American-made option to use someone else's free money who could've cared less about pocketing stupid jangling loose change, and use it to pay for your early morning treats. Score!! Shannon will take a penny, give it to the "Sunkin Manager" behind the counter, recieve her goodies, move on, and life will be good.
Um, not so much.
So, I go to grab a penny (again, ONE little penny) from the "Leave a Penny, take a penny" (or as I'll call it, "LAP" jar, 'cause frankly, it's just too much typing), and I happily hand the man the exact change, when he yells at me "No, no, no!!!" grabs the penny, and throws it back in the jar.
What? What just happened here?
Did they change the "LAP" rules? Did some new law form that prohibits the usage of "LAP" pennies before the noon hour? What am I missing here people?
I look down in the jar - where there sat the sad, rejected penny, a nickel, and a quarter. Then I looked at the side of the "LAP" jar, and crud!!! It wasn't the "LAP" jar afterall!! It was the "Gratuities for exceptional service" jar. (GFES). All together now everyone, "Duh Shannon!!!"
Ok, so, I chuckle a bit at my own stupidity (let's keep in mind here this was pre-first-cup-of-coffee), and I reach into my wallet for the third quarter so I can hand him 23 cents too many, and he'll be a happy camper. Nope, not quite. Story doesn't end there.
He rejects my third quarter, puts the rest of my money (again, minus the sad GFES penny) into the register, SLAMS it shut, and yells, "$5.51, you're done. Next in line please!?!"
WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Is this guy seriously ticked-off that I mistook the GFES jar for the LAP jar? And then scolded me for it? In front of other donut lovers?
At this point, I gather up my cups of Joe and tastey donuts and run out of there before anyone can spit in my food - horrified, and I gotta say it, a bit embarassed. That is, until I got home.
Then, I started thinking about it. First off all, I made a mistake - a mistake that literally would've only cost the guy a penny. A piece of money that this country has seriously considered getting rid of about a million times.
Then, I realized I tried to make it better by paying what I owed him, and he made me feel like I'd robbed his family's precious heirlooms, instead of just accepting the correct change and moving on.
Then, it hit me... why the hell is there a tip jar at the Sunkin Donuts counter anyhow? Dude - you just grabbed a couple of overpriced donuts off a shelf and handed them to me. Why do I need to tip you?
Now don't get me wrong - I'm BIG on tipping waiters and bartenders, bell hops, etc... people who are seriously working very HARD for you to make your experience a better one.
But the guy who owns a chain donut shop and already charges me 300% above what the food and coffee is actually worth (and don't get me started on the BIG coffee chain - i don't care if you call yourselves Baristas, you're still just steaming milk for me and giving it an eight-word name). Nuh uh! I ain't even tipping - well, a penny!
WHATEVER!!! I'm over it. This girl is taking her pennies elsewhere...that is, until I need another chocolate-glazed. What? They're really good!!
